Maybe hearing that coming from a Black Man will add some credibility to those words. Since often Black women complain that they can't be in interracial relationships because "Black Men don't like it." Well, here's one BM that doesn't mind and I know plenty more who don't also. I have no problem with people preferring a certain choice of the opposite sex, but when you decide to bash men/women of your own race to justify it, and use racist stereotypical insults no less, that's where I get offended.
However, I will say that the double standard is very striking to me. A Black woman who has a preference in interracial dating will not be criticized by other Blacks as a "self-hating Black woman." It's only when a Black man states his preferences that demeaning accusations take place. In the end, though, this doesn't surprise me. Anything that Black men do, don't do, say, date, the music they listen and many other things are constantly criticized by large portions of this countries population. It appears, to me at least, that nothing becomes a problem until a Black man gets involved. Unfortunately I don't expect this to change to soon with the way things going on nowadays.
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4 comments:
Self hate is something people use to criticize those who differ in views.
The innocent people who are accused are usually the people who date out of their race. Like you, I don't understand how this associates with self-esteem. People who accuse others of self hate for loving out of their race are just jealous or selfish. So the ones who lack self-esteem are not the "self haters" but the accusers because they are insecure from seeing different people together and it leaves them out. I think this is ridiculous.
Self hate does not link to preference. I like girls out of my race not because I dislike my race or want my children to look different. I like girls out of my race because I'm attracted to them and I recognize them as people.
Some black men just like white women! It's not a crime anymore in the USA. But generally speaking, BLACK MEN marry women of African descent at higher rates than other women of any racial/ethnic group. That probably has to do with where they live. If blacks live around blacks and socialize in "black" venues...they will likely pair up with other blacks. People fall in love with what they are familiar with... I think we should celebrate love rather than criticize it.
Respect,
Donovan
I have met so many and heard so many black women who are very averse to the fact I date black men, which I am invariably more attracted to than most other races and skin colors. It's not the black as much as the dark skin, the culture, and all the other beautiful features they have.
I have dated a few african-american men and I come across women who say I am taking THEIR man away. Yet when I see a caucasian man with a black woman, I think it's great that skin color is not a barrier to the obvious love they share.
It is really an unfortunate thing that these women, black, believe that if that white woman weren't with that black man, THEY would have that man's interest. That is utterly ridiculous. These women don't believe they will find a man they love so they blame race instead of their own ability to love a man.
That's sad.
To Roseblue:
As a beautiful,intelligent, black woman, all I can say is....LOVE who love...maybe the anger is not really about you, but about their inability to move past the cultural limitations they have allowed others to place on them, and in turn have placed on themselves. So it's easier to "get mad at you for taking their man" than really take a long hard look inside themselves. There is NO guarantee that if that man were not with you, that he would be with them. And if he was with a black woman, "they" would be hating on that woman calling her every name than the one she was given, AND finding AND creating flaws in her because "THEY" are unhappy!
So LOVE who you love because life is too short and unpredictable to spend it miserable because of what other people think!
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