What doesn't make sense with the argument that interracial relationships involve self hate is this:
* If a white person dates a black person, then they must love that person. A hater avoids the subject of it's hate; haters segregate from us. So since the Black person is involved with someone who loves him/her, how can that be anything other than a legitimate, loving relationship?
* There are many white people who prefer Black people for our physical, social, and emotional characteristics. So isn't it a good thing as a Black person to be involved with someone who likes and accepts you? It is possible to be discriminated against by your own race; I have received many negative comments about my skin color and socio-economic status from other Blacks (remember brown bag parties?) I would prefer to be involved with someone who chooses my characteristics, than to be with someone who thinks that I am less than because of my racial characteristics.
* If you assume that a white person will think of themselves of being racially superior in a relationship, does that mean that even someone with those beliefs cannot love their partner? If you answer "yes" to that, then explain how men can love women if they think that men are superior to women in various characteristics? We all have some beliefs about others that can be considered to be racist, sexist, nationalistic, etc. That doesn't preclude people from loving anyway.
* And if anyone believes that interracial relationships have deep-rooted causes in slavery, maybe they can explain how that dynamic plays out differently in Carribean and Central American countries? The dark skin and curly hair and culture of many Hispanics has to do with centuries of Indians and whites mixing with African descendants.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Detractor Stereotypes
All races in this country have stereotypes that have been put into the mainstream over the past few generations. Some of them good, or others not so much. Interracial relationships are no exception. However, none is more negatively portrayed in society than those involving Black men and White women. To the detractors, this relationship can never be genuine under any circumstance. To them, the idea that a Black man may actually have love for a White woman, and vise versa, is enough to make some of them feel insecure. I wanted to share here some of the stereotypes that they typically use adnauseum in their continuing quest to discredit BM/WW:
1) "Black men only date fat White women"
I've observed some of the interracial couples near where I live and, except for a few occasions, the majority of the White women that I've seen dating Black men have a modelesque body type. Detractors (White men and Black women) typically use this because the idea of an attractive, and slim, White woman picking a Black man for a relationship feeds into their insecurities. Physically, sexually and otherwise.
2) "White women are easy and passive that's why Black men date them"
Besides being insulting to every White woman in a interracial relationship, feeds into the stereotype of Black men being overly aggressive and sexist. Seeing as though a substantial amount of white women that are dating/married to Black men are from a military background, this rings false. Now, are there some passive White women who let men walk all over them? Absolutely. But there are also Black women who are passives. Contrary to popular belief, not all Black women are willing to stand up for themselves against a man.
3) "Black men only want them for trophies, look at the NBA players"
For starters, most Black NBA players (like 95% of them) are married to Black women. That myth was created by the typical bias media because they are five times more likely to show a White spouse over a Black one. For the media it creates conflict because it gets Black women and White men upset. How many people actually know that OJ Simpson's first wife was a Black woman and they actually had children? Probably few, because during the trial in the 1990s, the media ignored it and instead focused exclusively on the "blond White wife."
As far as the "trophy" women are concerned, only a small fraction of Black men in interracial relationsips fall into this category. Different types of Black men marry white women, rich ones, poor ones and all those in between. You don't get "status" from marrying a White person. Black men wouldn't put up with possible death threathening letters, cross burnings on the lawn, disapproving stares and comments from family members/strangers or vandalized property with the words "NIGGER LOVER" strewn across, just so they can have a trophy wife.
4) "Why would Black men even want them, White women have no lips, a flat ass, and bad skin"
This of course is typically said by Black female detractors. I'm not going to bother explaining these offensive comments. To me, they're racist and inappropriate. No different than if a White guy said: "Black women have a flat ape-like nose and an ass like a baboon." Both comments would be considered racist, and rightfully so.
In closing, I find it hyprocritical that the detractors hate seeing Black men and White women together, yet they vote for a man who is the offspring of such a union. His name is Barack Obama. Who, by the way, was raised by a White mother. So much for the belief held by some Black women that Black children can't be raised by a White woman. Because to me, looks like Obama turned out just fine.
1) "Black men only date fat White women"
I've observed some of the interracial couples near where I live and, except for a few occasions, the majority of the White women that I've seen dating Black men have a modelesque body type. Detractors (White men and Black women) typically use this because the idea of an attractive, and slim, White woman picking a Black man for a relationship feeds into their insecurities. Physically, sexually and otherwise.
2) "White women are easy and passive that's why Black men date them"
Besides being insulting to every White woman in a interracial relationship, feeds into the stereotype of Black men being overly aggressive and sexist. Seeing as though a substantial amount of white women that are dating/married to Black men are from a military background, this rings false. Now, are there some passive White women who let men walk all over them? Absolutely. But there are also Black women who are passives. Contrary to popular belief, not all Black women are willing to stand up for themselves against a man.
3) "Black men only want them for trophies, look at the NBA players"
For starters, most Black NBA players (like 95% of them) are married to Black women. That myth was created by the typical bias media because they are five times more likely to show a White spouse over a Black one. For the media it creates conflict because it gets Black women and White men upset. How many people actually know that OJ Simpson's first wife was a Black woman and they actually had children? Probably few, because during the trial in the 1990s, the media ignored it and instead focused exclusively on the "blond White wife."
As far as the "trophy" women are concerned, only a small fraction of Black men in interracial relationsips fall into this category. Different types of Black men marry white women, rich ones, poor ones and all those in between. You don't get "status" from marrying a White person. Black men wouldn't put up with possible death threathening letters, cross burnings on the lawn, disapproving stares and comments from family members/strangers or vandalized property with the words "NIGGER LOVER" strewn across, just so they can have a trophy wife.
4) "Why would Black men even want them, White women have no lips, a flat ass, and bad skin"
This of course is typically said by Black female detractors. I'm not going to bother explaining these offensive comments. To me, they're racist and inappropriate. No different than if a White guy said: "Black women have a flat ape-like nose and an ass like a baboon." Both comments would be considered racist, and rightfully so.
In closing, I find it hyprocritical that the detractors hate seeing Black men and White women together, yet they vote for a man who is the offspring of such a union. His name is Barack Obama. Who, by the way, was raised by a White mother. So much for the belief held by some Black women that Black children can't be raised by a White woman. Because to me, looks like Obama turned out just fine.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Black Men, White Women Since 1681
That's right. Some Black men have been in relationships with White women, in America, since at least throughout the past three hundred twenty years. I say this because of the claims from detractors that Black men are "manipulated by the media" to have an attraction for White women. Now, unless, television is an invention alot older than what we've been told, it's safe to assume that some Black men found White women attractive, even during the generations of slavery in this country when media nearly didn't exist outside of written paper. Yes, even enslaved Black women had concensual relationships, and marriage, with White slaveoweners. It's been documented.
To imply that Black men in relationships with White women were manipulated by the blondes they see on MTV is unreality. Simple as that. Now, I realize that Black Men-White Female relationships are the most hated couples in America, but the lengths some people go to keep the taboo alive, and completely discredit BM/WW couples, just shows how lonely, and bitter, some are.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
"I'm Not Racist But..."
How many times have you heard someone say, “I’m not prejudiced; some of my best friends or co-workers are black. I just don’t believe in inter-racial dating.”? People who think this way would easily consider inter-racial relationships an alternative lifestyle, and not one to be supported. It’s odd to think we’ve come so far since the days of segregation and racial cruelty and yet we still encounter people who say things like this.
Interracial lifestyles are more accepted today than they were twenty years ago. In fact, twenty years ago, consensus forms didn’t allow for checking more than one box under the “race” section! And, unlike fifty years ago, interracial dating is no longer a crime punishable by law. But interracial families still struggle with acceptance and racist comments. White people who choose to be with black people are still slandered as “nigger lovers” and black people who choose to be with whites are considered sell outs to their race. So while it’s clear that progress is being made, it is also clear that progress still needs to be made in the realm of interracial love.
“I’m not racist; but I don’t believe in interracial relationships.” In my opinion, there’s no truth in that statement. If you judge a person, harshly, based on color in any aspect of life, then you’re racist.
Interracial lifestyles are more accepted today than they were twenty years ago. In fact, twenty years ago, consensus forms didn’t allow for checking more than one box under the “race” section! And, unlike fifty years ago, interracial dating is no longer a crime punishable by law. But interracial families still struggle with acceptance and racist comments. White people who choose to be with black people are still slandered as “nigger lovers” and black people who choose to be with whites are considered sell outs to their race. So while it’s clear that progress is being made, it is also clear that progress still needs to be made in the realm of interracial love.
“I’m not racist; but I don’t believe in interracial relationships.” In my opinion, there’s no truth in that statement. If you judge a person, harshly, based on color in any aspect of life, then you’re racist.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I Don't Care About Black Women Dating White Men
Maybe hearing that coming from a Black Man will add some credibility to those words. Since often Black women complain that they can't be in interracial relationships because "Black Men don't like it." Well, here's one BM that doesn't mind and I know plenty more who don't also. I have no problem with people preferring a certain choice of the opposite sex, but when you decide to bash men/women of your own race to justify it, and use racist stereotypical insults no less, that's where I get offended.
However, I will say that the double standard is very striking to me. A Black woman who has a preference in interracial dating will not be criticized by other Blacks as a "self-hating Black woman." It's only when a Black man states his preferences that demeaning accusations take place. In the end, though, this doesn't surprise me. Anything that Black men do, don't do, say, date, the music they listen and many other things are constantly criticized by large portions of this countries population. It appears, to me at least, that nothing becomes a problem until a Black man gets involved. Unfortunately I don't expect this to change to soon with the way things going on nowadays.
However, I will say that the double standard is very striking to me. A Black woman who has a preference in interracial dating will not be criticized by other Blacks as a "self-hating Black woman." It's only when a Black man states his preferences that demeaning accusations take place. In the end, though, this doesn't surprise me. Anything that Black men do, don't do, say, date, the music they listen and many other things are constantly criticized by large portions of this countries population. It appears, to me at least, that nothing becomes a problem until a Black man gets involved. Unfortunately I don't expect this to change to soon with the way things going on nowadays.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
'Hancock' and (Racist?) Bitter Black Women
Alright. I wasn't planning on making another post about Will Smith's latest film 'Hancock.' However, some recent rantings have given me no choice but to make, yet another, post discussing this movie.
It seems if some Black women feel like the fact that Hancock's love interest in the film was a White woman was a front on their female Blackness. The women who fall into this category are in the small minority, but the idea that they are 'offended' by this shows their racial bias. After all, it's well known that the two biggest detractors of BM/WW relationships are White men, and Black women.
It's hypocritical however, when several of Halle Berry's latest films, her love interests where White men. Kerry Washington, a well-known Black actress, has a White husband in her latest film titled, "Lakeview Terrance." Will some of these bitter Black women complain about that film?
I doubt it.
It's a blatant double-standard where Black women can swoon over White men and be applauded as being "progressive and thinking outside the box." Yet, a Black man is unable to swoon over a White woman without fierce accusations of self-hatred and racial betrayal. If the interracial dating scene is ever going to be uncluttered then this biting double-standard must come to a close. Sooner rather than later.
If anything, the Black community should be concerned with is how AIDS is running rampant in some neighborhoods, young Black men murdering one another, and the education gap between Black students and White/Asian students. Jerome dating Becky should be the least of our concerns. We have other, more important, priorities.
It seems if some Black women feel like the fact that Hancock's love interest in the film was a White woman was a front on their female Blackness. The women who fall into this category are in the small minority, but the idea that they are 'offended' by this shows their racial bias. After all, it's well known that the two biggest detractors of BM/WW relationships are White men, and Black women.
It's hypocritical however, when several of Halle Berry's latest films, her love interests where White men. Kerry Washington, a well-known Black actress, has a White husband in her latest film titled, "Lakeview Terrance." Will some of these bitter Black women complain about that film?
I doubt it.
It's a blatant double-standard where Black women can swoon over White men and be applauded as being "progressive and thinking outside the box." Yet, a Black man is unable to swoon over a White woman without fierce accusations of self-hatred and racial betrayal. If the interracial dating scene is ever going to be uncluttered then this biting double-standard must come to a close. Sooner rather than later.
If anything, the Black community should be concerned with is how AIDS is running rampant in some neighborhoods, young Black men murdering one another, and the education gap between Black students and White/Asian students. Jerome dating Becky should be the least of our concerns. We have other, more important, priorities.
Friday, July 4, 2008
'Hancock', Hollywood and Interracial Couples
Once again, Hollywood decided to implement the 'Mandingo' fear of not wanting to show a Black man being the love interest of a White woman. I wish it was surprising to me, given that Barack Obama might become the next U.S. President, but it's not. On average, there's been more Black women/White men films then the reverse. Even though some people who have an axe to grind would make it seem it is not. Halle Berry can have all the White male interest she wants in films, but Will Smith, arguably the biggest actor in Hollywood, more famous than Halle herself, is unable to cross that racial barrier in regards to a White female. This country has a nasty habit of claiming victories it hasn't earned, and the mythology of 'colorblind nation' is definitely one of those unearned victories.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
